01
Skate Like Nobody's Watching
Especially the coach. Especially the puck carrier. Especially the goalie you just hooked.
FIELD MANUAL
HOW NOT TO PLAY
A field manual of advice so bad it loops back around to being educational. Do the opposite. Always.
Today's Hot Take
"Always look down at the puck. Teammates are a distraction."
THE COMMANDMENTS
02
Pass to Where They Were
Lead passes are for show-offs. Aim for the spot they just vacated.
03
Always Cherry Pick
Why backcheck when you can wait at the red line and look hopeful?
04
Argue Every Call
Refs are insecure and respond well to passionate, unsolicited feedback.
05
Fight a Goalie
It builds character. The character of a person who has fought a goalie.
06
Take the Long Shift
75 seconds minimum. The bench can wait. So can your lungs.
07
Tip In Your Own Goalie
It's a tough angle but if anyone can do it, it's you.
08
Skate With Your Head Down
Looking up exposes you to information you cannot handle.
09
Always Try the Toe Drag
Even on the breakout. Even with two guys on you. Even at center ice.
10
Celebrate Like You Won the Cup
Even if it was a 7-1 loss and the goal was meaningless.
11
Use Your Skate Blade
It's a perfectly legal stick replacement. (It is not.)
12
Throw Your Stick
If you can't catch them, your stick can. Probably a penalty. Worth it.
13
Ice It Every Time
Sure, you'll be tired. But you'll also be in the defensive zone, where you belong.
14
Lose Faceoffs With Confidence
Don't even try. Lose them so hard the other team gets nervous.
15
Wear Skates Two Sizes Too Big
More room for socks. More room for failure.